Thursday, August 13, 2009

Growing up is hard to do

Signs that you are a woman who is getting older (I don’t like the sound of “aging woman”)

By Meredith Leigh Knight

Note: I chose women because men don’t really have this problem. I mean, come on, if they are gray, they look distinguished, if they are losing their hair, they can shave their heads and look cool, and if they are overweight, they can buy a sports car. Really, it’s just not fair.

[Disclaimer: Any resemblance to the author is purely coincidental as none of the following apply]

All of your children’s teachers, including the principal, are young enough to be your daughter, and they remind you of that fact by calling you ma’am. (Click here to read my post on how I became a ma'am)

You’re in the doctor’s office and find a great magazine. You can relate to all of the articles; you like the actresses who are profiled; the topics are relevant. You flip to the front and see that it’s a magazine for women over 40 (not saying 40 is old, mind you, and on the bright side, it could have been AARP magazine).

You have had a discussion at some point about the possibility of having to shave hair off of your face.

You can’t wait for menopause.

You quit drinking alcohol and switched to milk because you are worried about osteoporosis. And drinking gives you a headache anyway.

Your son asks why your hair turns gray and then turns back to “normal.”

And if you aren’t gray yet, you scrutinize every hair that comes out of your head in the sunlight to see if it’s “the one.”

Your parents are starting to have health problems or worse. L

You have to ask your eleven-year-old how to do things on the computer.

You show up at your reunion and think you are in the wrong place because you don’t recognize any of these old people.

Your college-aged child’s sorority has 80s night in which they play “oldies” from the 80s, which happens to be when you graduated.

You cannot part with your curling iron and straightening irons remain a mystery.

You do not understand a word your teenager says.

When dealing with your kids, you feel a terrible sense of deja vu as you suddenly realize how your mom felt.

Have any more to add? I would love to hear them.


My ADHD Me said...

OK, obviously you are talking directly to me, as I can relate to almost every single one of these.

I just don't understand it. Inside I am the same strong bodied, strong willed, woman that I always was. Outside...different story.

My son is now 13 but he has been doing most of my computer stuff since he was about 10. I just know one day he is going to hack into the FBI headquarters and they are going to come crashing through my door.

That doctor with the magazines you are talking about looks like one of my sons buddies and I swear he probably still lives at home with his parents. Doctors are supposed to be older. After all, they used to be.

The teachers look like high school students.

Isn't oldies night supposed to be songs from the 50's and 60's. Cindi Lauper should NOT, I repeat, should NOT be played on oldies night!

Gray hair and stray hairs...not even going there!

And why is it that when I wake up in the morning, the creases on my pillow match the ones on my face???

I'm not liking it one bit!

Oh yeah, roller coasters are supposed to be fun. They aren't supposed to put your back out of commission for 2 weeks.


OK, I'm done. And yes, I know exactly what you are talking about.


Meredith Leigh Knight said...

LOL - I will come up with a list of GOOD things about getting older next time!! (And I never thought roller coasters were fun, btw.) Thank you for commenting. I'll work on my next list soon...And I can already think of a few things to include.