Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Just when I was wondering what to blog about next, someone rings my doorbell. It’s a “college student” who is selling cookbooks to pay for his tuition. Uh huh.

Unbeknownst to him, he was REALLY barking up the wrong tree. First of all—cookbooks? Second, that was no college student. Third, I loathe door-to-door salespeople! At least he didn’t pretend like he was from the neighborhood. I had the last person who did hauled off to jail.

Several years ago, when my children were smaller and my patience thinner, I watched a man sit on the curb of my lawn and smoke a cigarette. Then I watched as he put it out and threw the butt in my yard. Not a good way to start a sales presentation.

He sauntered up to the door and knocked. I spoke to him through the glass, as he tried to explain to me how he was the Johnson’s son, and he lived next door to Honey (the name of another neighbor’s dog). Fortunately, we are a close neighborhood and had just had our directory updated. There’s a Honey the dog, but no Johnson family.

I called his bluff, and he got very angry. One might say irate even, waving his hands around, getting louder and louder. So, I did what most wives would do, went around back and told my husband on him. As my 6’ 4” 250 plus husband rounded the corner, you’d think the sales weasel would have enough sense to be frightened, and, perhaps, he was, but it didn’t stop his mouth. He crossed into the neighbor’s yard, shouting profanities along the way.

I called 911 and within a matter of minutes, a young gung-ho police officer was ready to nab the fugitive. And nab him, he did, as soon as he emerged from the inside of someone’s house. Yes, someone had actually let the guy in. The policeman, who was obviously looking for some excitement on a boring Sunday, pinned the guy down, before proceeding to put him in the back of his patrol car. I actually had to peep into the backseat of the car to identify him, which I admit creeped me out a bit.

Yet, I lived to tell about it and became somewhat of a neighbor hero when it comes to ridding the world of unethical, smart-mouthed door-to-door salespeople. I guess the word got out in that circuit because we didn’t have any more unexpected knocks on the door for the rest of the summer.

That’s been a few years ago, and now this is obviously a fresh batch of “college students” because when I told the guy, NO, he actually asked me if I could get him a bottled water! At least he didn't back talk me when I shook my head, although I had already picked up the phone and was headed out back to tell my husband, just in case.

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