Mom of the year

“Please try to do better in the morning.”

“I get right out of bed.”

“Then you grab your cover and go straight to the couch.”

Mother/child? No, it’s a conversation I overheard between my daughter and son.

“But I woke her up the past two days. Why don’t you do it?”

Wait a minute, they’re talking about me! I thought.

“I’m not really asleep!” I protested, entering the room. “I hear you. I’m just resting!”

“Uh huh,” my daughter and son exchanged looks.

To my defense, my daughter is very independent. She’s used her own alarm clock since kindergarten, and she likes to get up first. I kept pushing my clock back to get up before she did, and she would do the same. Finally, when we reached 6:30 a.m., I folded, and said you just wake me up. And now she and her little brother do.

I just never know how they are going to do it. Sometimes I have this creepy feeling that someone is staring at me—because they are. They stand at the side of my bed and look at me without speaking until I wake up. Trust me, it’s creepy. To add to the effect, sometimes my daughter will whisper something so low that I can see her mouth moving, but I can't hear her. I wake up several days a week thinking I've gone totally deaf.

Other times, my son will walk in wide awake, asking me complex questions about life such as “Which is tougher--a rhino or Nile crocodile?”

This morning, he bounced in and said, “Bugsy’s doing great! He slept all night”

“Who?”

“You know, my new friend, Bugsy!”

“Huh?” Did someone sleep over? I think.

“My guinea pig!”

“Oh, yeah, that’s good. I’m getting up now.”

Did I mention I’m not a morning person?

Although it sounds unconventional, it’s normal for us. I know I may not make Mom of the Year. Just don’t tell my kids—they haven’t figured it out yet.