THAT shirt

So, I went to Florida recently, and all I brought back was a stupid t-shirt. I’m kidding, but I did see a lot of those down there. It seems restaurants name themselves with t-shirts in mind. In fact, I saw one that advertised, “Home of the world-famous t-shirt.” Considering the name of the restaurant, it’s a good thing. I can’t imagine anyone eating there.

Although amusing, I’m not always crazy about these type of shirts. When my daughter was a pre-teen, she went shopping with her grandmother and came home with a shirt that said, “Get laid—Hawaiian-style.” My mom shrugged and said, “I thought I’d let you explain it to her.”

Thanks, mom!

One of the first really big fights my husband and I got into was over an inappropriate t-shirt. We’d been to New Orleans, and he couldn’t resist buying one with a slogan that I won’t repeat, except to say that Big Easy during Mardi Gras after 2 a.m. may very well be the only time that shirt was appropriate.

So, one Sunday, shortly after we were married and before children, we rolled out of bed close to noon and decided we would have lunch on the square at a certain meat and three restaurant. Once we got there, we noticed a big line of well-dressed folks. We’d timed our late breakfast with church-goers Sunday dinner.

Smelling the fried chicken, we decided to go in despite the crowd. It was somewhere in the middle of the buffet line that I realized he was wearing THAT shirt. The one he bought in New Orleans. The one with the dirty slogan. And he was wearing it in front of God and everybody.

I told him we needed to leave immediately. He was a little too hungry to agree. I won the argument (My son has already noticed that mamas tend to), but not before we drew a little bit of attention to ourselves and, worst of all, THAT shirt.

I guess it runs in the family. Years later after we became church-goers, we were at a church social when I heard our preacher ask my daughter, “How is that barbeque place? We’ve driven by it several times but never stopped.”

“Oh, it’s good! I stopped there with my grandparents, and they bought me this t-shirt,” she said, right before walking away and revealing a slogan on the back that read, “BEST BUTTS IN ALABAMA.”