Rise and shine

I recently overheard a co-worker complaining that women are always late, which got me to thinking…We certainly have the reputation, but do we deserve it?

Let’s compare a typical woman’s morning schedule with say that of her husband’s. Granted there our exceptions, or at least in my dreams there are, but for most women I know, their morning starts a little like this…

Rise and shine (2 hrs. 15 minutes before departure)

Stumbles to kitchen, makes the coffee for husband, tea for herself

Feeds the barking dog, reminds self to take him to obedience school as he jumps on her

Wakes up the children

Does a load of laundry while she is upstairs

Unloads dishwasher, sees that it’s still not cleaning as it should, so she rewashes the dishes by hand

Starts breakfast, notices they are out of milk, makes a run to the convenience store, while telling the kids to get dressed

Gets gas while at the convenience store

Comes back to find kids still in pajamas on couch

Sets table, serves breakfast, washes dishes again

Tells kids to get dressed NOW

Gets paper and waters ferns on the porch

Tells son that he has his shirt on backwards and inside out

Tells him so are his pants

Asks daughter if she has brushed her hair

Tells her to go brush it some more

Packs lunches

Goes to take a shower, sees that husband has beat her to it

Checks e-mail, sees reminder to send in baked goods to school, bags up 20 pairs of Oreos

Irons skirt for the day

Answers phone; it’s the neighbor, she wants to borrow two eggs, plus she really needs someone to talk to about her sick aunt, consols her while looking at the clock

Gets in the shower, realizes teenage daughter has taken her shampoo, yells for the kids (no answer), yells for husband (no answer), grabs a towel and streaks unnoticed across the house to get the shampoo from upstairs, while husband and kids watch TV

Gets back in shower, takes it quickly before the hot water runs out

Puts on the recently ironed skirt

Notices it “shrunk” in the closet and no longer fits

Stares at clothes in closet, waiting for something to jump out at her

Tries on 4-5 more outfits until she finds the right one, while vowing to clean out her closet, not to mention exercise more and lose weight

Blows dry hair

Reminds kids to put on shoes

Applies make-up

Double knots son’s shoes

Brushes teeth, reminds kids to do the same

Listens to son relay latest Star War video game adventure and then tells him and his sister to wait outside for you

Puts on shoes (Okay, she tries on several pairs)

Gets a Band-Aid for son who fell outside and scrapped his leg

Turns off TV

Locks doors

Turns off clothes dryer

Takes out meat to thaw for dinner

Hears husband honking, so she runs out the door, while putting on her earrings and grabbing the sunglasses he forgot

Opens the truck door just in time to hear him say, “Women! They are never on time!”

Husband’s morning:

Rolls over as wife gets up

Dreams peacefully until he smells coffee brewing and bacon frying

Gets up 15 minutes before time to go

Takes hot shower, combs hair

Picks up clothes he wore yesterday off the bathroom floor

Puts them on

Sits down at table, eats breakfast, drinks milk, reads paper

Watches TV

Brushes teeth

Gets in truck and honks for wife to hurry up while muttering, “Women! They are never on time!”