Shhh...I'm trying to watch the movie!

Movies are an important part of summer in Georgia. When it’s 100 degrees outside, air-conditioned entertainment is the way to go. Which leads me to my question: What exactly is movie theater etiquette these days? If anyone knows, please tell me. My husband and I went to an R-rated movie recently and were surprised to be surrounded by children six years old and younger. No, they didn’t sneak in—their parents brought them.

Now, moms and dads, if you can’t find a babysitter, just wait until it comes out on DVD. Is going to see a movie that urgent? I’ve heard some parents say that their kids will fall asleep after 15-30 min. Imagine the dreams they have, nodding off with gunshots and the f-word ringing in their ears.

Parents, there are plenty of kids’ movies out, and some are even free. In fact, I took my children today even though I would have preferred to have seen Sex in the City (again). Inevitably, I sit next to a mom who tries to explain the movie in detail to her three-year-old. I mean, does Veggie Tales really need an explanation? Her child seemed to understand the talking cucumber concept a lot better than I did.

We saw the movie Firehouse Dog recently, which was great, except for, again, the mom next to me. (I’ve never seen a dad do this, by the way. Of course, most dads are smart enough to avoid the free movie days altogether.) The mom felt she had to interject lines for the dog, otherwise her child wouldn’t understand.

During one dramatic scene, for example, the dog sees a fire, so he rushes to the boy, his owner, and tugs on his shirt (think Lassie).

The boy says, “What’s wrong?”

The dog barks and whines and looks toward the fire.

Then the woman next to me said, “There’s a fire! I’m trying telling you there’s a fire!”

Her own child, who was probably too young to speak, looked at her like “Duh!”

This went on throughout the movie. Perhaps we should go back to drive-in theaters. At least, it would be quieter, and the kids could sleep in the backseat like I did when my parents couldn't find a sitter.