All you need is ... sports

I never thought I’d be saying this, but I think the world would be a better place if women talked sports. Relax, men, I don’t mean talked sports with you. I mean with each other.

Just imagine ... there’d be no misinterpreting innocent comments, no later analysis of tone, no backhanded compliments to be offended, no subtle nuances -- just cut and dry stuff like “The Braves really sucked this year, didn’t they?”

Women wouldn’t have to worry about if they’ve forgotten their girlfriend’s daughter’s birthday or failed to notice right away that they got their late-in-life braces off. All they’d need to know is if the Bulldogs won and whether or not they need a new kicker.

It would really eliminate a lot of pressure.
Now, to be clear, I do not mean they should talk about their kids’ sports. While most women are supportive of one another kids, there’s still a gray area when it comes to who brought the best snacks and who has volunteered more often in the concession stand. Believe me, it exists.

Men do not have that. I can only guess it’s because they simply don’t care. I actually envy them. They don’t have to worry about staying in constant contact with their friends and knowing every aspect of their lives and wondering whether they are mad at them or not. They can go years without seeing each other and then pick right back up by asking, “Been playing much golf?”

In fact, I used to think sports were invented to give an outlet to the natural competitive spirit that we humans have, but now I think it’s so men can avoid these awkward issues. It’s no wonder they never complain of getting their feelings hurt after hanging with the guys. If a team is bad, they’re bad. Scores don’t lie.

As long as sports exist, men will always have something to talk about. I realize there are plenty of women who know sports and can discuss it without mixing up game, match, meet and umpires and referees. To me, that alone is impressive.

Though I have to admit, I have never seen two women discussing sports. Ever.

I have noticed, however, that every reporter on the field at football games is a woman. I’m not saying they shouldn’t be there, but I wonder if it’s now a requirement to get an interview.

Regardless, I do think women knowing about sports is the wave of the future. My daughter is an all-around athlete who can watch football, volleyball, tennis and basketball (among others) and discuss the plays intelligently —with her father. She doesn’t believe me, but I told her that would get her far in business and in life.

As for me, I like the status quo. Women chatting about sports with one another might bring about world peace, but I’d sure miss my friends.