Sunday, January 10, 2010

Blame it on my DNA

I just invested a small fortune on DNA repairing moisturizer, and I didn’t even know mine needed it! Sorry, Mom and Dad, according to the saleslady, it really does. Fortunately, now, if I apply two drops of this magic elixir to my face each night, my flawed, damaged DNA will heal itself.

Amazing, isn’t it? Amazing that I fell for it, that is.

It’s been frigid in Georgia – in the low teens for weeks – and suddenly my face has become exceedingly dry. I realize that’s not a big problem to have, but it’s annoying, so I figured I needed to add moisturizer to my normal skincare regime of doing, well, nothing.

I even mentioned it to a friend at church this morning. And she responded by looking me dead in the eye and saying, “Well, I think that’s because you are just getting old.”

Sorry, did I say friend? I meant ex-friend.

As a result, I took my dry skin, still stinging from the insult as much as the weather, to the make-up counter of our town’s large department store. I marched over to the area in the back where I usually buy my “affordable but still good” stuff and waited. Finally, I was approached by a porcelain-skinned model/saleslady from the “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it” section, who informed me that my girl didn’t show up for work that day.

“I can show you some items over here, however,” she said, gliding toward the shiny counter as I followed blindly.

“Now what can we do for you?”

I told her I was looking for just a plain moisturizer.

“Oh, I have something better than that …”

She slathered my hand with miracle cream. Not only did it feel softer and smoother, I could actually see the difference. Or at least I thought I could. Not to mention there was research to prove it, even the box said so. See below:

This pivotal research showed that clock genes regulate a series of precisely timed repair responses within each skin cell to help maximize its DNA repair. Furthermore, with age and repeated exposure to environmental stresses, skin's clock genes become de-synchronized, causing its repair and protective processes to slow down.

Who am I to argue with facts like that? My skin’s clock genes are counting on me.

So, half of my children’s inheritance later, I exited the store with a tiny bottle of magic serum, plus a tiny tube of moisturizer for my lips. By the way, I’m smart enough to know that it was just fancy chapstick. As far as the miracle moisturizer? I figure it can’t hurt to try. And if it doesn’t work? I guess I can blame it on my DNA.

(By the way, “Blame it on my DNA” is also the title of a song by one of my favorite singers, Georgia’s own Diane Durrett. You can check her out HERE.)


My ADHD Me said...

Ha! I've fallen for quite a few of those "miracle" products myself. What I don't understand is that when you are in the dept store, you really can see these products preforming miraculous marvels...then when you get home they seem quite similar to Loreal/Oil of olay/ Neutragena etc.

It has been colder than normal in Virginia too and I have also noticed that my skin is getting dryer..... or maybe I'm just getting old. Thanks for the reminder to NOT ask any of my friends what they think.

Meredith Leigh Knight said...

Too funny! Thanks for your comment. Stay warm (and moisturized)!

Angela McRae said...

Your (ex) friend is nuts and you still could pass for a decade or more younger than you are. Hmph!

Meredith Leigh Knight said...

Spoken like a TRUE friend! Thank you! In her defense, I do believe she was kidding. At least, I hope she was! By the way, I actually like my new purchase, except that I was even more sticker-shocked when I opened the box at home and saw that it only contained one ounce.

Vivi said...

I think you have hardly changed since the retro picture you posted on FB. I'm all about products myself. MAYBE, just maybe, we will happen upon the one the works. Just let me know if you do, and I'll do the same.

Jessica said...

I was just thinking about those magic elixirs and kinda mentioned them on a recent post. Funny! (You don't know me btw, I just hit Next Blog and read what you wrote). Good stuff! Have a great day!

Meredith Leigh Knight said...

Hi, Jessica - Thanks for your nice comment. I'm glad you found me. I look forward to checking out your blog!

Jessica said...

Here's the link:
You can tell that you're a good writer. Little things like the punctuation make it flow well. I submitted my blog "New Year, New You" to the local newspaper and it was published in the Insight section this past Sunday. That was nice, but they edited A LOT (smoothing, they called it). I have a long way to go... :)